Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
