whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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