he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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