last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
