Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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