I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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