I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I love you. Go after that dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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