The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
where are you?
Hypothermia
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
