i would punch a child for taco bell
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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