I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
