So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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