I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
