Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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