this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
