That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize