weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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