yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
