I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This baby is an asshole
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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