i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
