That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
