very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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