plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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