Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
