Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
