my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
