Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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