Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
