so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
