My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
