but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
