Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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