So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
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I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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