I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize