I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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