I could make wine with my vomit
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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