I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
