my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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