Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
