the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
