We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize