the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
