More tranny stories later!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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