and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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