yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
