oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
