How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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