God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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