Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
