i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
