okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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