Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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