I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
