I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
