I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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