I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
