I faked an abortion last night.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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