I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this boner is exhausting
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
