Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love you. Go after that dick
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize