I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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