I hate your face
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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