I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
