Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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