Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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