I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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