A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So much rum. So many feels.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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