You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
