She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
