YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
