The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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