you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
a search helicopter?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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