ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
