I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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