R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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