don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
