I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
