im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize