I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
In America we eat man semen.
We talked him into tasing himself.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
