Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
